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I've been invited to a baby shower. Not just any baby shower. My eldest child's godmother's baby shower. For her first baby. First pregnancy. With her first and only husband of exactly one year. She is nearly 36 years old. I should be gracious and happy for her. We were due less than a month apart.
The shower is in her new hometown, about four hours from me. My going would entail carpooling with a group of mostly single, childless women. Talking about babies. Specifically, a baby whose due date falls less than a month from E's due date. Did I mention the shower is scheduled for the week of E's due date?
I can't go. I'm a horrible person. I support her. From afar. Enduring eight plus hours of anticipatory baby chit-chat would do me in. I'd fail at trying not to rain on her parade. I want her to be happy. But, the in-my-face sweet baby stuff is just too much.
One more thing: I can't tell the mom-to-be about my feelings or even give her a lame excuse for not coming. It's a SURPRISE shower! What the hell am I going to do?
I began the layout for this blog in April 2008. I planned on blogging about life as an educated, intentionally unemployed stay-at-home mom. I never wrote a word. In November 2008, my fourth child was born still. Because I lost my precious baby girl, my blog specifically evolved into: life after losing a child to stillbirth. P.S. Four months later, add cancer to the subject matter.
About Me
- Mommy (You can call me OM)
- Stay-at-Home Mommy; Wife; Attachment Parenting Follower; Animal Lover; Daughter; Sister; Catholic; Yogi; Lawyer (according to the Bar Examiners, anyhow!); Perfectionist who can't even come up with a satisfactory description because it just MIGHT have an error
Life Events
Feb 1973
My mother gave birth to me
March 1996
Adopted our "first baby" - our dog, H
Jan 1998
My husband and I married
Jan 2002
I gave birth to my first child, L
July 2003
Adopted our cats, S & L2
Mar 2004
I gave birth to my second child, O
Sept 2006
I gave birth to my third child, N
Dec 2007
Our "first baby" - our dog, H, died
Oct 2008
Adopted our dog, C
Nov 2008
I gave birth to my fourth child, E, born still
March 2009
I was diagnosed with th.y.r.oid ca.nc.er
My mother gave birth to me
March 1996
Adopted our "first baby" - our dog, H
Jan 1998
My husband and I married
Jan 2002
I gave birth to my first child, L
July 2003
Adopted our cats, S & L2
Mar 2004
I gave birth to my second child, O
Sept 2006
I gave birth to my third child, N
Dec 2007
Our "first baby" - our dog, H, died
Oct 2008
Adopted our dog, C
Nov 2008
I gave birth to my fourth child, E, born still
March 2009
I was diagnosed with th.y.r.oid ca.nc.er
My Blog List
Blog Archive
A Small Victory
Please click to help bereaved parents
Have you lost a child to stillbirth?
Helpful Links & Advocacy
- A Small Victory
- Butterfly Haven
- First Candle
- Glow in the Woods
- International Stillbirth Alliance - Research
- Light a Candle
- Lost and Found
- March of Dimes
- My Forever Child
- Office for Prevention of Prematurity and Stillbirths
- SANDS - PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS AWARENESS & SUPPORT
- SHARE - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group
- Silent Grief
- Stepping Stones
- Still No More - News Articles
- Stillbirth Collaborative Research Network
- String of Pearls
- Sue-Ella Signatures
- Sufficient Grace Ministries
- Thomas's Story
- Tommy's
- UK SANDS
My blog map
3 comments:
Here from Lost and Found to welcome you to the ALI blogosphere...
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby.
As for what to do, could you send a card with someone that includes an explanation? Or plant an explanation with someone else who's attending in case she asks where you are?
Hi. I also found you on L&F. So sorry for the loss of your baby. This is too new, don't feel badly that you can't face a baby shower yet, especially this one. I agree Cassandra that sending a card or gift with the gaggle of single girls is the best idea. Or you could mail something to arrive the next day - or mail it to the party planning person. I'm sure a true friend would totally understand. Good luck whatever you decide, give yourself some time.
Thank you for commenting. I'm so new at this, that it's amazing to me that anybody even reads these posts! Your suggestions are wonderful and I'll likely follow through on them. But, I really just want it all to go away. The death most of all.
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