Bitchy Blessings

I'm not sure why I'm posting today. I don't have any concrete ideas or emotions I want to express. Last night sucked. I think the party went well, from a seven-year-old's perspective. No little girl meltdowns, good pizza and cake, personalized bracelets. Life is simple. On the other hand, I was a complete bitch. Of course my bitchiness was mainly directed at my husband. He did a great job getting things cleaned while I ran all the errands during the day. But, it was his version of a "great" job, not mine. You can guess what my reaction was.
I think the main issue was my uneasiness with the possibility of talking about E with all the parents and whether or not their children would sideswipe me again. That anxiety definitely influenced my bitchiness. I'm blessed with a husband who understands that side of me. When I feel cornered, I lash out. While this ordeal of losing my baby is torture, I know I'm blessed.