Prepping

I am now just over 37 weeks pregnant. Thank you for your understanding and support. I also wanted to let you know that I told all of you before telling people in real life. I still haven't told people in real life. That's probably difficult to believe. Unless I run into somebody in person and she comments on the pregnancy, I just don't talk about it. Even when people do comment, I simply acknowledge the comment and then change the subject. I did tell my friend C who lives about an hour away from me because she works with people who need Medical Assistance and I needed her guidance (I've also been wanting to point out that I was already a few weeks pregnant when my husband lost his job). I haven't said a word about the pregnancy on F-book. In fact, one day somebody asked me about the pregnancy on my wall. I deleted the question and never answered the inquiry. I guess that's been my way of insulating myself. It's not a denial of the pregnancy. It's a way to deal with the fear.

I have been prepping our house for the hopeful arrival of our baby, but an outsider would never guess the purpose of all the work. I've painted our foyer, the backing on our hardwood stairs, a lot of our trim, the kids' walls, ceiling, and trim (along with a magnetic attic door for them). I stripped and painted my childhood desk for my eldest to use this school year because we are homeschooling. I painted several shelves that we'll hopefully install soon.

One thing I haven't done is anything specifically baby related. No shopping for baby clothes. No laundry of existing baby clothes. No organizing baby sleeping arrangements (we've previously co-slept with all of our children, but now I don't think I can do it). No cleaning the car seat or adding a seat to the van. Again, this isn't a denial of the pregnancy. It's simply a way to deal with the fear. I guess I believe if I'm fortunate enough to bring our baby home, all that stuff will just fall into place.