A Small Victory

I love my baby, E. I wish she were here with me to hold, nurse, and cuddle. Actually, right now I wish she were still safe inside me waiting to be held, nursed and cuddled. I've really been struggling lately. I want to fix this problem. E's dying. I don't care if I'm crazy for saying this, but I feel the only way to fix the problem is for me to wake up from this nightmare with E safe in my womb. Until I wake up from this nightmare, I have to do something with this grief.

My birthday is next week. Apparently, Facebook offers its users the option to request donations to a Cause of their choosing as a Birthday Wish. It seemed like a nice idea, so I searched for Causes dealing with stillbirth. At first, I considered Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. I have too much regret about not being in my right mind after E was born and telling the nurses not to call NILMDS. We do have pictures, just not great ones. Once I regained some level of sanity, we called NILMDS and asked if they would take pictures at the funeral home and they were willing to do so. But, E was gone too long by then.

I ended up choosing A Small Victory. My hospital did not offer CARE packages provided by A Small Victory. I wish they had. While I feel my care was adequate, there's always room for improvement. Despite some regrets I have regarding my last moments with E, I know I did the best I could do with the tools available to me. I want newly bereaved parents to be given the tools that were missing for me. I believe that A Small Victory can provide that.

I didn't expect much from my Birthday Wish post on Facebook today, other than informing my friends about A Small Victory. Within hours, friends donated $180. I was amazed. And thankful. And excited for the future work of A Small Victory.

I'd like to add a nice looking gadget for A Small Victory to my sidebar to solicit donations. I created a Badge on Network for Good, but it's huge and ugly. I want something appealing. Not obnoxious. Can anybody help me with this?