Grief sucks

Two months ago today, I lost my fourth child. My baby girl, E. Technically, November 3 was the day E was born. I cannot tell you the day she died, only the day I discovered she had died. That was October 30, 2008. I went to my regular, 20-week ultrasound that day. As I laid on the table and the ultrasound tech fiddled around, I asked for her to first tell me the baby's heart rate. She looked at me briefly, looked at the screen, and quietly said, "I'm not allowed to make a diagnosis. But, I don't see one." That moment catapulted me into the most heart-wrenching days of my life. Follow me as I attempt to find normalcy, while loving all four of my children. Share your own stories of grief, hope, and love. I can't promise I'll always be eloquent, but I'll always be real.